Copyright 2003, LRTMC

Long live the Bogan.

Save the Bogan (Maximums tightblackjeanus withmulletus)

First identified as a sub-species during the mid-70s, the Bogan is
thought to be a close relation of the Booner (found in Canberra’s
eastern suburbs) and the Westie (spread throughout Western Sydney). It
is believed the initial Brisbane population was introduced to purpose-
built habitats such as Ipswich, Inala and Woodridge.

However by the mid80s, the species had multiplied to plague proportions,
spreading though much of Redbank and Goodna. While authorities considered
a culling program, they need not have bothered, as the regional population
a rapid decline from the early 90s onwards.

The situation has now reached a critical point, with Bogans rarely
sighted in the inner Brisbane suburbs, and those remaining cling to the
region’s outskirts. In the year 2001, the species is now officially

Identifying a Bogan is genetic, while others argue it is a product of
nurture, as even extremely young males seem coerced by parents to
adopt the growth. Other distinguishing male characteristics include
tight black denim covering on the hind limbs and bright flannelette
markings on the forepaws and belly. Males adopt a dominant status
within the community, with a vague sense of rank defined by the
ownership of aging Ford and Holden motor vehicles.

Female Bogans are entrusted with the raising of multiple offspring, a
role they perform from a young age and often without the presence of
the male. They may be similarly identified though distinctive denim
markings, though the colour is usually “stonewash”. In warmer weather,
females have been known to shed the lower layer of denim to just below
the genital area, resulting in a “cut-off” effect. Both males and
females have been known to cover their lower hind limbs with furry
pouches called “ugg-boots”.

While the wild population of Bogans is dwindling, it is still possible
to view them in their natural environment. The species have been known
to congregate around regional “shopping malls”, where family units
often come to settle domestic issues using high-pitched wailing sounds.

After sunset, younger males and females meet in small dark enclaves
known as “Taverns”, where they consume large amounts of liquid
called “Bourbon”.

There are numerous factors attributed to the decline of the local Bogan
population. Scientists have identified the unpopularity of ‘The
Village’ as a contributing cause, while the development of adequate
social infrastructure (i.e. schools, medium density housing) may have
fragmented the species. More controversial theories suggest many Bogans
may have removed their mullets, purchased “cargo pants” and attempted
to integrate themselves in Brisbane’s mainstream population, but these
claims are yet to be substantiated.

At present there seems little hope of restoring the Bogan population to
its previous levels. Recent attempts included the development of a new
artificial habitat named “Forest Lake”, but it seems this area may be
too far from Ipswich to attract large numbers of the species. More
successful is an enclosed breeding program called “Archerfield
Raceway”. The program has proven highly effective, combining aggressive
behaviour, beer and occasional displays of female sexuality. Authorities
recently have attracted Bogan elders AC/DC for a brief visit.